Squinky Must Wear #4

Kyle Porter —  October 25, 2012 — 14 Comments

Carson Cunningham and I realized something spooky last weekend when Justin Horton, J.W. Walsh, and Brian Williams were all lost for the season within a few days of each other: each wore the #4 or had a #4 in his number.

Justin Gilbert should be double-taping every extremity he possibly can for the rest of the season.

But here’s what’s even more eerie – we started to look at a history of OSU players who have worn the #4 or had the #4 in their number and found that this wasn’t a one time thing. Most of these players are notorious for one thing (bad play) or another (season-ending injury).

Sure, we’re purposely leaving out guys (Patrick Lavine) who weren’t notorious but read this list and tell me there isn’t something to the theory…and please remind us of any we missed in the comments (especially you old-timers!)

Each player has been assigned a Squinky rating (on a scale of 1 to 10) for how notorious they were during their time at OSU. From least Squinky (bad shooting) to Squinkiest (prison!)

#44 Doug Gottlieb (SR: 1) – No real crime here other than his shooting percentage.

#4 Anthony Parks (SR: 2) – You might not remember him but he was the white WR with one kidney who thought he was Eminem. Career totals: 3 catches, 37 yards1.

#4 Frans Steyn (SR: 3) – The most fail per square inch of any basketball player in OSU history.

#4 Brandon Weeden (SR: 3) – Easily the creepiest, he wore #4 and was buried as a 3rd string QB behind the immortal Alex Cate, switch to #3 and became the 22nd pick in the draft, a multimillionaire.

#4 Al Pena (SR: 4) – Raise your hand if you had a better TD/INT ratio during college than Al Pena (all of you should have your hands in the air).

#4 Mario Boggan (Squinky rating: 5) – A good player, yes, but ejected for a headbutt against Kansas State? Has Squinky written all over it.

#4 Brian Williams (SR: 6) – Best defender and starter on one of the Big 12 favorites goes down to season-ending wrist injury.

#4 J.W. Walsh (SR: 7) - Top 15 QB in the nation goes down to season-ending knee injury.

#4 Glendon Alexander (SR: 8) – Went to prison for bank fraud.

#44 Chris Collins (SR: 10) – Yeah, not good.

The obvious lesson here: if you’re an OSU prospect/recruit, listen to me: you do not want to pick the #4 when you get to campus.

  1. One of those was actually a tipped ball on a 4th down play in Bedlam 2006 that Nolo and I still speak in hushed tones about. The fact that we were going to Anthony Parks late in a close game against OU combined with the fact that he caught it were too much for us to take.
  • Aggiepriest

    Great research and very interesting observations…..

  • @clintosu

    “Hey guys”
    - Philip Jurick #44

  • http://twitter.com/CarsonC5 Carson Cunningham (@CarsonC5)

    You forgot my favorite one: Bobby Reid.

  • BostonPoke

    Justin Blackmon has become a bust after picking #14, hmm…

  • http://gravatar.com/rwhetsell62 @mfc_crff

    Love it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/casey.shepherd.545 Casey Shepherd

    That headbutt by Mario Bogan was his last action at GIA as he was being subbed out on senior night…it was pathetic. And this was about a month after he hit the game winner over KD in triple overtime.

  • http://gravatar.com/rwhetsell62 @mfc_crff

    Kyle, you’ve inspired me…

  • http://gravatar.com/okcdave @okc_dave
  • sv33

    Gabe Weidenaar #44, part of a group of 4 arrested in the marijuana by mail fiasco.

  • Trevin

    didn’t Glendon rob Derek Bell’s boat/yacht also?

  • http://twitter.com/CarsonC5 Carson Cunningham (@CarsonC5)

    Round of applause for sv33

    • sv33

      Did I mention it was a 4 lbs package of pot? Gabe is also 6’4″…from Montana the 41st state ranked 44th in terms of population…he has 4 charges pending.

  • OSUaggie

    I’m pretty sure using numerology to explain athletic performances is one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse….

  • Andrew

    Wasn’t Hubert Anyiam #84?