Ah yes, the portion of the blog posting season when we riff, project, and try to predict the things for which we have absolutely no ideas (because if Harry and Lloyd can’t figure it out…how are we supposed to?) Let’s countdown Brandon Weeden’s most likely NFL destinations in reverse order.
32. Colts – Yes, because that would be a lot of fun for everyone. Can you imagine Jimmy Tweets throwing out a couple of 140-character “I miss Peyton so much we’re just going to draft seven QBs this year and see what happens” gems on draft night? I actually kind of can. Maybe I should move them up…
31. Redskins – If I was Bill Gates wealthy, I’d offer Daniel Snyder stupid money (like $4B) for the team, draft Weeden and Griffin, let them duke it out for the starting spot to settle this madness once and for all, then sell them back to somebody for $3.5B after the third preseason game. It would be my $500M gift to all of you.
30. Saints – Mostly because they don’t have a first or second round pick and if he’s still there in the third round then my TV will be in too many pieces to tell you where he went anyway.
29. Falcons – Because they dealt their first round pick to the Browns last year to grab Julio Jones and their second round pick isn’t until #55 overall, at which point the Dolphins and Browns will have drafted five times combined which means no Weeden/Matty Ice Gillette commercials.
28. Patriots (speaking of Gillette) – What are the Pats going to do with Weeden, put him on the scout team behind Tom Terrific and Big Tex Mallett? Plus, they have other holes to fill like “somebody to catch a pass in the last five minutes of a Super Bowl” and the “whatever we’re going to call the guy who goes clubbing every day with Gronk to make sure he doesn’t kill himself or anyone else” guy.
More to come over the next two weeks.